The Battered Wife

Why are women willing to stay in abusive relationships? Are women trying to compensate their failures for not solving their parents' marital abusive relationships early in their lost childhood? Do you think that women who stay in abusive relationships are trying to prove to themselves that they can change their boyfriends and husbands' behavior for the good? What extent do they have to go to discover that they can't change anyone? Love is giving yourself away unconditionally, which requires risks and not requesting anything in return. A person who is insecure of his identity will work hard toward something, whether it be a career, marriage, or material possessions in order to measure his self worth. Frank B. Minirth, M.D., and Paul D. Meier, M.D. stated this concerning insecuries:

"John P. Workaholic feels insecure, powerless, and hopeless. He feels uncertain in an unpredictable world. Since he cannot control these insecurities, he develops an excessive need for control. John develops a false sense of omnipotence in order to control his own insecurities in an uncertain world. He behaves as though he were very confident, and frequently fools himself into thinking he is. He usually succeeds in fooling his associates anyway. John also has a strong urge to intellectually know everything. Again, he wants to be in utter control. In spite of his outward confidence, John often has a hard time making decisions because he might make a wrong choice, and he cannot stand being wrong?"4

Jack felt assured of himself since he was the vice president of a wealthy law firm. Lisa's parents were impressed and admired Jack's position and career status. They really liked him and thought that Lisa had won the lottery that evening. Well, Jack and Lisa went to a French restaurant in Manhattan. They talked till 3 AM. They dated for a year before they got engaged. Lisa was so much in love with Jack, she couldn't believe that she had found someone like him.